If we’re going to expand to capacity, I’m in trouble…

So first off, sorry for the extended absence. It’s been a hectic few weeks since my last update… there was 1) a hospital scare 2) a trip to Tahoe for the 4th 3) a Paul McCartney concert and 4) a new car. And somewhere in there, I fit in about 40 hours of billable time a week. But back to number 4… we recently purchased a new car… and this sucker is huge… at least by my standards. The biggest car that I’ve ever had up until this point has been the size of a Honda Accord, so when Kim started expressing an interest in a 7-passenger vehicle… well, I got scared. But on the bright side of things, it meant getting rid of Pixie Dust – which despite Kim’s nostalgia – was definitely not a bad thing. Pixie may have been great once upon a time, but she had devolved into the equivalent of a windup toy that you wind up, shake, bang on the desk, shake again, and then it starts to work. The engine either sounded like it was going to drop out onto the road behind you or blow up altogether. That and cruising down the highway in a bright yellow car with fairies all over it turned my already challenged masculinity into a veritable punching bag for any and all drivers sharing the road with me. So now we’ve got Pixie on ‘roids.

Introducing Pixie 2. Yes, the customized license plate will remain the same in honor of the old Focus, but we’ve traded up for two more feet and at least 500 more pounds.

We ended up deciding on a Mazda CX-9 with all the trimmings. I think the only thing we’re missing is a roof rack. You can see the power liftgate in the video – oh amazing gimmick that it is. Now, Kim and I had some disagreements as to how much space we actually need, but she ultimately won out since it’s her car. 7 seats… really? I mean, I know we’ve got the bunny, the dog, and the baby… but is there something I don’t know? Are there twins on the way? I’m sure in about 3 months I’ll be complaining about how there isn’t enough room for all our stuff in the CX-9 but for now, it feels like the Titanic.

Now, on the downside, I’ve got to say I’m not too hopeful about future dealings with Mazda. I love the car, but this went from a very pleasant car buying experience to “Oh holy hell, I’m going back to watching Flash Gordon on my iPhone”. We started on Saturday at the dealership with a test drive, but when it got to the negotiations part, Kim went all turtle-mode until we left (aka she sealed herself in her shell). I volunteered to come back on Sunday and get everything set up. So I found the salesman we had dealt with the previous day – nice guy but I got the feeling he hadn’t sold too many cars. I told him what we wanted, the color, and the price… and they found it in San Jose. I committed to buying it, got the financing approved, and was told it would be delivered the next day. Total time spent over the weekend in the Mazda dealership – 6 hours (3 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday). At this point, I’m thinking it’ll only take 20 minutes to hand them the Focus and drive off the lot.

Then comes Monday. I was told that the car would arrive by 4, and we could stop by whenever we wanted after that. So I called at 4:30 to confirm that the car was there… routed to someone’s voicemail – someone I didn’t know, had no idea what they did at the dealership, and who likely wouldn’t be able to help me without dragging someone else into the conversation. So I called again… same thing but different voicemail for another person I also didn’t know. Called again, this time I was bounced between 3 separate people before going to a 3rd stranger’s voicemail. Let me also clarify that this wasn’t a huge dealership. The sales floor was maybe 1,000 square feet. So now I’m pissed that no one can answer the question, “is the car from San Jose that I ordered on the lot yet?” And so I try “Live Chat” at mazdausa.com – and if I can caution any current/future Mazda owners, don’t do this. It’s not live. I got so pissed I started taking screenshots of the chat because it made absolutely no sense… For example:
Me: We held off on the trade-in and additional money down until the car was to be delivered today…
“Rebecca Marcus”: Will you have a trade in?
Me: I do have a trade-in, but we had a conceptual agreement or whatever is required for them to get the car delivered from San Jose
“Rebecca”: May I ask what is the year, make, and model of your trade?
Me: I’m sorry … is this necessary to find out if the blue CX-9 that I’m buying was delivered to Roseville Mazda?
“Rebecca”: Let me check with my Internet Sales Manager on this information and see what we can work out for you. What would be the best number for us to reach you at?
Me (getting very suspicious at this point): ? nevermind… I must be miscommunicating something…
So back to reality. I finally talk to someone at the dealership who tells me that the salesman that I dealt with is actually the one driving the car back and that he’ll be in between 6 and 7 and that I should give him a call on his cell phone. Well, “salesdude” had been having “problems” with his cell phone since Saturday, so surprise surprise, it was off. But Kim and I decided screw it… we’ll drive up to Roseville and wait for the car. We got there at 7:15… and waited until 9:30. No one knew where he’d gone. Another driver had brought another car up from San Jose and arrived at 7:30… but our car hadn’t arrived. So we finalized everything except the trade-in and went home with the promise that the car would be delivered “to us” on Tuesday.

Yesterday at around 1, our salesman calls and says “so when are you coming to pick up the car?” My internal monologue at this point wasn’t pretty, so much so that it would’ve made an ice road trucker blush.
Me: “I was told you guys were going to bring it to us.”
Mazda: “Oh, okay… where should we bring it?”
Me: “1200 Second Street in Old Sacramento.”
Mazda: “Okay, be there in a bit.”

Fast-forward a half hour and I get another call… “So…, we’re gonna need an address for where we’re going” At this point, I have beaten up my mental rendition of a punching bag, thrown it into oncoming traffic, made a voodoo doll version of it that I left on the barbecue for 4 hours, and flushed it down the toilet. “You know what? I’ll come and get it,” I replied. And well, I’m glad I did… because they hadn’t cleaned the car and it was missing a cover for the driver’s side door panel light… The kicker was that after all was said and done and I was finally ready to leave with the car, my salesman’s buddy, who was filling in for my salesman who had gone home for some mysterious reason, turns to me and says “so, outside of the minor waiting you did on Monday night, is there any reason why you wouldn’t give us glowing remarks in the review you’ll be receiving from Mazda corporate?” None whatsoever my friend… and thankfully, you can’t see the little angel and devil versions of William Shatner that are sitting on my shoulder, flipping you off, and throwing poo in your general direction.

I apologize for the wall of text… but I was/am kinda fired up by this.